Raising Feminist Girls

About my lack of postings...

2010-08-30T08:09:00.000-04:00

I haven't written for this blog in several months due to a personal tragedy--the sudden death of my husband at age 51. While I've always been an independent woman with my own career and interests--many different from my husband's--losing your partner after almost 20 years of marriage is devastating in so many ways. More on this in later posts...

Don't forget Women's Equality Day!

2010-08-30T07:55:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Michele Hush of NYWICI for this piece on Women's Equality Day, celebrating (only) 90 years of having the right to vote-- thanks to the 19th Amendment. (This is what constitutional amendments are supposed to be about!)

Girls Poisoned for Attending School

2010-04-26T08:15:00.001-04:00

Anyone doubting the oppression of girls needs to read this story: Afghan school girls are being poisoned merely for pursuing an education. Taliban fighters are accused of gas attacks that have so far sickened more than 80 school girls. When the Taliban ruled the country (1996 - 2001), they institutionalized discrimination against girls and women--and girls were prohibited from attending school.

Glee's Feminist Message

2010-04-21T21:41:00.008-04:00

I love the new show, Glee, the musical comedy focused on members of a high school glee club. I watch it regularly with my daughter and we both think it's hysterical.

I never looked at the show as a feminist one--but last night's episode, titled "The Power of Madonna," included several feminist messages:

* Quinn talks about wage disparity: "The fact that women still earn 70 cents to every dollar for doing the same job. It starts in high school."

* Teacher Will points out to the boys their misogynous behavior.

* Tina rebels against Artie with a feminist tirade after he criticizes her appearance.

* Guidance counselor Emma complains about the poor role models for girls today--"Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Ann Coulter."

I recommend this show for its great comedy and likable characters--and now its feminist bent is one more reason to tune in. Looking forward to next week's show!

What "Kotex Classic" Taught Tina Fey

2010-04-20T18:18:00.007-04:00

Yesterday I attended the Matrix Awards sponsored by New York Women in Communications to honor outstanding women in the industry. Amidst all the speeches--some a bit too long--Tina Fey's stood out.

When she started as a writer on Saturday Night Live in the 90s, it was considered a "boys club" that was almost impossible to break through.

Numbers are what eventually made the difference: the more women in the room, the more people there were that understood her humor. It took a while before she convinced the mostly male staff to run the hilarious skit "Kotex Classic" --since the men just didn't get it. (View the video.)

Her advice? Encourage, support, mentor and hire women.

Padded Bras in Little Girls' Bathing Suits? Boycott Justice stores.

2010-04-12T08:21:00.002-04:00

I was disgusted yesterday when I took my 11-year old daughter shopping at Justice--since all their tankinis had padded bras! And I'm talking about little girls' size 10! What kind of message is Justice sending to little girls in doing this? That their bodies are inadequate unless they have boobs—fake or real? I e-mailed a complaint to the company, and will report on the response I get--but I don't expect much. I never liked Justice anyway--the clothes are gaudy and pricey--but I think we should boycott this store and any others that sell these types of items.

Role Models, Part 2

2010-04-05T18:01:00.007-04:00

I'm looking for ideas for role models for my 11-year-old daughter--since my recent attempt was less than successful. Since my daughter claims to be interested in environmental causes--touting "go green" on her t-shirts and books--I took her to a discussion by Annie Leonard, who created the Youtube video The Story of Stuff--about the environmental waste of all the useless stuff we buy. I thought she might enjoy seeing an important woman in person, not just on the Web or TV. But five minutes into the lecture, my daughter fell asleep, and was out cold for the rest of the night. Granted, it was a busy school day, she had missed her nap, and the lecture was at night--but I know if it was some pop idol like Taylor Swift she would have stayed awake.
Any suggestions?
In the meantime, take a look at this video--I thought it was quite interesting...

Flying High: New Record for Women in Space

2010-04-05T09:46:00.000-04:00

Today, with the launch of the Discovery, four women astronauts are now in orbit--and that's a record high! Three of the seven astronauts on Discovery are women--former high school teacher Dorothy Metcalf-Lindenburger, robotic arm expert Stephanie Wilson, and Naoko Yamazaki, the second Japanese woman to reach space. They'll be joining chemist Tracy Caldwell Dyson at the International Space Station, forming history's largest gathering of women in space.
     Metcalf-Lindenburger (shown above), a geologist, wants her three-year-old daughter to view her accomplishments as unspectacular, claiming, "My daughter doesn't know that there's a big deal or not a big deal. To her, flying is cool, running around is being cool, and just running around and growing up as a kid is cool. And there's not a lot of distinction, and that's how I want it to be."
     Wilson, an aerospace engineer, is making her third trip to space. "I hope that part of our legacy is that we continue to inspire young women to pursue careers in science, engineering or math," she said.
   Yamazaki, also an aerospace engineer, commented, "It was especially important to me that my husband quit his job and made it possible for my family to stay together" for her training in the U.S.
   Read more on the history of women in flight.

Women's History Month: Ida B. Wells

2010-03-24T20:32:00.007-04:00

It's depressing that my sixth grade daughter has never heard of Ida B. Wells. When you look at this amazing woman, you'd think she'd at least warrant a mention in history textbooks. . .

Ida B. Wells (1862 - 1931) risked her life to stop the violent and repulsive act of lynching. And not only that--she also was a journalist, newspaper owner, author, teacher, civil rights activist, suffragist, wife, and mother. All this from a woman that was born a slave.

Ida B. Wells was also Rosa Parks before there was a Rosa Parks. In 1883, Wells sued the Chesapeake and Ohio Railroad because she was forbidden to sit in the ladies coach because of her race. While she won the case, this significant victory was short-lived—it was overruled by the Tennessee Supreme Court, which ordered her to pay the court fees. She wrote about this experience for a weekly paper called The Living Way, sparking her interest in journalism. In 1889, Wells became a part owner of the black-run Memphis newspaper, the Free Speech and Headlight.

Wells used the power of her writing to great effect in her campaign against lynching. Wells tried to . . .
expose what she thought was the real purpose of lynching—not to punish criminals, as the white mobs claimed—but to terrorize and subordinate the black community. Hundreds of African Americans were lynched in southern states between the late 19^th and early 20^th centuries. In 1892, three of Well’s friends—local, law-abiding, black grocery store owners--were lynched in Memphis for crimes they did not commit. Wells wrote articles about their lynching...

that attracted the attention of both blacks and whites, and she encouraged blacks to boycott businesses and leave the state. She became a well-known anti-lynching activist, and traveled the country and to Europe to speak for her cause. When she was away on a speaking tour that same year, a violent mob burned down her newspaper office and presses, and threatened to kill her if she returned. As a result, she stayed in New York to live, writing a story about the episode titled “Southern Horrors: Lynch Law in All Its Phases,” for an African-American newspaper, the New York Age. And in 1895, she wrote an anti-lynching pamphlet titled A Red Record.

Wells later moved to Chicago, where she met and married Ferdinand Barnett, a widower, attorney and fellow activist. The couple had four children together, plus their family included Barnett’s two children from his previous marriage. While raising her children, Wells continued to fight for social justice, and also became involved in the women’s suffrage movement. She was a founding member of both the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) and the National Association for Colored Women (NACW).

How did this outstanding woman accomplish so much? Her parents, although they were slaves, were learned to read so taught Ida how to read at an early age. After they were freed from slavery after the Civil War, they also were social activists, as were their friends in the community. Ida also assumed responsibility at an early age--when she was 16 years old, both her parents, and an infant brother, died of the yellow fever epidemic. Instead of dispersing her five younger brothers and sisters to different relatives, Ida took the responsibility for raising them.

Ida B. Wells died in 1931 while writing her autobiography, Crusade for Justice. Her grandchildren have kept her legacy alive by establishing a museum in her name, in her birthplace, Holly Springs, Mississippi. They’ve also established the Ida B. Wells Foundation, which “seeks to preserve and promote Wells' legacy of dedication to the principles of superior journalism, social justice, education, equality and integrity.”

Sports Illustrated: Lindsey Vonn's great ass! (Oh, yes, she's also a great skier.)

2010-03-22T12:53:00.002-04:00

Tell me this photo isn't sexist. I assume Lindsey Vonn posed on a flat surface and Sports Illustrated tilted the photo so her butt would stick up right into the lettering. She is of course very attractive and photogenic--NBC couldn't keep the camera away from her during its Olympic coverage. But please, this is a bit much.

Daughter headed to college? Watch out for serial rapists.

2010-03-09T09:12:00.009-05:00

When I was leaving for college, my older sister told me to "Stay away from the upper classmen--they prey on freshman girls."* And they do, according to a recent NPR report about college date rape. Freshman women--often vulnerable, less experienced with alcohol, and looking to fit in--are the women mostly likely to be sexually assaulted on campus.
Maybe that's not surprising. But what is surprising is that many of the college men committing these assaults are actually serial rapists. While one common myth has been that college date rape is often a one-time "bad decision" by a drunken perpetrator, in fact, that's not the case. Serial predators account for nine out of 10 rapes on college campuses. This is according to research done by psychologist David Lisak of the University of Massachusetts, in which he interviewed 2,000 college men ...
over a period of 20 years. And colleges often don't take these crimes seriously, sometimes blaming the victim (if drunk) or treating the incident as just bad behavior and not a crime. A report by The Center for Public Integrity claims that while one in five women will be sexually assaulted during her college years, the students found responsible for these assaults "often face little or no punishment."
So read up on these depressing reports, and make sure your daughter does, too, so she can be on the look out. Women should also be encouraged to report these crimes to the local police, even if discouraged from doing so by the student health center staff. Remember, that cute guy your daughter meets over beers at the frat party might just be a serial rapist.

* Did I listen to her advice? No--I started dating an upper classman the first week I arrived. Fortunately, however, he understood what "no" meant.

National Women's History Project: Writing Women Back Into History

2010-03-05T07:48:00.002-05:00

Each time a girl opens a book and reads a womanless history, she learns she is worth less.--Myra Pollack Sadler

I was struck by this quote I found on the Website of the National Women's History Project (NWHP). NWHP is the group that successfully lobbied Congress in the 1980s to proclaim March as National Women's History Month. Recognizing the achievements of women in all facets of life – science, community, government, literature, art, sports, medicine – has a huge impact on the development of self-respect and new opportunities for girls and young women. NWHP continues to fight to get women recognized in school and college textbooks--and their theme for this year's Women's History Month is "Writing Women Back Into History." Learn how you can help at the NWHP Website.

Women's History Month: Alice Stokes Paul

2010-03-04T09:06:00.000-05:00

The organization New York Women in Communications is profiling famous women this month on its blog. Here's an excellent piece on Alice Stokes Paul--suffragist and tenacious fighter for women's right to vote and the ERA (Equal Rights Amendment). When you read this piece, written by Michele Hush, you really need to wonder why this hero is not a household name.

Women's History Month: Sylvia Pressler

2010-03-01T22:16:00.010-05:00

For women's history month, I'll be highlighting a few women that have made a difference for girls' progress.

Thanks to Sylvia Pressler, young girls have more opportunity in sports. A jurist and an author, Pressler is best known for her 1973 ruling that opened the doors for girls to play Little League baseball. The case involved 12-year-old Maria Pepe of Hoboken, NJ, who had joined the local Little League team but was forbidden to play by the League's national officials. With the help of N.O.W., Pepe sued. Pressler ruled in her favor, claiming, "The institution of Little League is as American as hot dogs and apple pie. There's no reason why that part of America should be withheld from girls." The following year, Little League baseball agreed to allow girls to play on its baseball teams--and it started a softball division as well. Pressler later rose to be the presiding administrative judge of the New Jersey Appellate Division. She passed away earlier this year at the age of 75.

I was born too soon to benefit from Pressler's ruling, and also to fully benefit from Title IX--the landmark 1972 act that mandated equality in educational programs and revolutionized girls' sports in school and college. But as the youngest of four girls I was always an athlete, a.k.a. "tomboy"--and I do believe my . . .
pursuit of sports kept me out of trouble in those early teen years. Rather than hang out and drink and smoke, my friend Angel and I played basketball with the boys every night at the outdoor basketball court--lit by a single lightbulb--at the local schoolyard. We had fun, avoided trouble, got exercise, and learned how to deal with boys as friends, not just boyfriends.

I'm a strong believer that playing sports offers benefits for all kids, and I've always encouraged my daughter to participate. Hats off to Sylvia Pressler for giving all girls a bit more opportunity.

A Mom's Valentine for Her Feminist Daughter

2010-02-23T08:39:00.002-05:00

Veronica I. Arreola writes the blog Viva la Feminista, and she recently wrote a touching piece titled "Gender Roles and Rainbows: A Mother's Love." Here's an excerpt, but do read the entire piece:

Growing up I knew I would be a mom, somehow. I knew one day I'd be responsible for another human being that goes beyond my wildest dreams. While most women day dream about cute dresses and those adorable ruffle-bottomed tights, I dreamt of teaching her to keep score at a baseball game and to hopefully avoid the pitfalls that continue to consume me.
(Go to the full article.)

Herstory Month?

2010-02-19T13:25:00.003-05:00

I recently asked my kids, grades 6 and 11, what famous women they've learned about in all their years at school. The answers? Sacagawea and Rosa Parks. The high schooler added Queen Elizabeth I. Pretty pathetic. I admit I had forgotten about "Women's History Month" and that it's in March. My kids' schools don't cover it at all! (Do your schools?)

Obviously we all need to be diligent about teaching our daughters and sons about "herstory" since they're not learning about it at school. There are many famous women writers, scientists, political figures, athletes, explorers, etc. Here are two links I found that might help:
100 Important Women in History
National Women's Hall of Fame

PS The famous woman above is astronaut--and fellow Syracuse grad--Eileen Collins.

More Books for Feminist Girls

2010-02-17T14:04:00.002-05:00

Our kids' book collections can always use more girl-positive books. Here are two interesting reading lists I recently came across. Enjoy!

--Anti-princess reading list--12 pages of books featuring "strong, smart, spunky girl protagonists" from mommytracked.com/.

--Books for the anti-princess girl-feminists--Five top feminist books for girls aged six through eight from bitchmagazine.org/.

Spain to Limit TV Beauty Ads (They're More Dangerous Than Alcohol Ads)

2010-02-16T23:06:00.001-05:00

Kudos to Spain's Parliament, which is close to enacting a law that would ban TV advertising for certain beauty products before 10 pm. According to Advertising Age, ads for items that "encourage the cult of the body" and "have a negative impact on self-image" would be banned--including plastic surgery, dieting products, and beauty treatments. Since alcohol products are permitted to be advertised starting at 9 pm, the government is sending a clear message that "body worship" products pose a serious danger to its youth.

Society's obsession with beauty is unhealthy for both the mind and the body--and it affects girls disproportionately. Let's hope Spain's new law represents a small step in reducing this obsession.

Sexist Superbowl Ads: Hopefully Your Daughter Wasn't Watching

2010-02-08T09:05:00.000-05:00

The ads during the Superbowl last night were not only uncreative and boring, but so many were blatantly sexist. If your daughter was watching, she may have come away with a message that women are naggers, their opinions don't matter, and men need to escape them. Unless, of course, they're hot and in skimpy clothes--those women get attention, sometimes even more than the beer.

See the 10 Most Sexist Superbowl ads according to the blog Blag Hag.

Here's GoDaddy's ad--apparently their ads are always sexist. No more domain registrations with them!

Abercrombie Gets What it Deserves: Customer Rejection

2010-02-03T22:20:00.003-05:00

Sales for clothing retailer Abercrombie & Fitch dropped 18% last year, more than most of its competitors in industry. It's nice to see customers are rejecting this brand! You may recall that Abercrombie was the maker of disgustingly sexist t-shirts for young women with phrases across the chest like "Who needs brains when you have these?" (pictured at right), "I see you've already met the twins," and "I had a nightmare I was a brunette." When I heard about those shirts a few years ago, I vowed never to shop there and told my daughter she couldn't either, and of course, explained the reason why. Unfortunately the brand is still popular among tweens and teens, but let's hope its end is near.

Six Steps to Raising a Feminist Daughter

2010-01-15T18:11:00.006-05:00

Some great advice from an article on ehow.com:

1. Educate your daughter about the history of feminism and the struggles women have faced in the past and still face today.

2. Surround your daughter with strong confident women. Give her real-life role models that are inspiring and encouraging.
3. Teach your daughter to respect others. Show her by your example that people with differing opinions and value systems are important to a democratic society.
4. Let your daughter try a variety of pastimes and hobbies. Give her the freedom to define her own interests. Raise her to try new things.
5. Treat your daughter with respect and love. Set boundaries so she learns that her actions have consequences for herself and others.
6. Encourage your daughter to speak with grandmothers, aunts and other women in her life about feminism and their experiences from different generations.

The Daughter Song

2010-01-15T17:08:00.001-05:00

How men change their tune when it's their daughters in the miniskirts...

Teachable Moment

2010-01-14T16:08:00.000-05:00

Today my daughter told me about a story she was writing for English. A man prepares for battle against a native American, only to find out that the battle is one of words, not fists. The man is pleased since he's a spokesman for the American Heart Association, and a good talker, so he wins the debate. His prize? The chief's daughter in marriage! Huh? This from the daughter I've worked so hard to make a feminist? Trying to keep calm, I explained that girls and women are not property to be awarded, and she might want to reconsider what she was saying. So she rewrote the ending (without my coaching, I swear!) so the girl was able to choose if she wanted to marry the man. Chalk this one up to a "teachable moment."

For Role Models, Look to the Lecture Circuit

2010-01-04T17:17:00.003-05:00

It's important to expose girls to strong, positive women role models. When my kids were young, I'd take them into the office so they could see the important roles that women played as managers. And I was really proud when my daughter opted to be Hillary Clinton for Halloween--pants suit and all! One great way to expose your daughter to prominent women is through the local lecture circuit. Many colleges, associations, libraries and bookstores hold public lectures featuring successful women in all walks of life--scientists, authors, businesswomen, government officials, etc. Your child may even be able to meet and talk to some of the women, which will further peak her interest. My daughter is interested in the environment, so in March I'm taking her to a lecture by Annie Leonard (shown above) at the 92nd Street Y. She's an environmentalist and creator of The Story of Stuff, a popular video on Youtube. So check out your local organizations and see who's coming to your area!

Make Her Notice

2010-01-01T09:58:00.002-05:00

You see something sexist? Or, on the other hand, a positive depiction of females? Point it out to your daughter--and she'll eventually learn to notice herself! My 11-year-old daughter, Jackie, now declares, "That's so sexist!" to images or remarks she deems so. She'll also point out the positive--like she did yesterday to this line in the Taylor Swift song, 15: "In your life you'll do greater things than dating the boy on the football team." (Thanks for noticing, Jackie!)

Here are other tips on how to address sexist remarks--I found them on a blog called Stop Sexist Remarks.

Steinhem on Feminism: "We're half-way there."

2009-12-31T09:15:00.000-05:00

Check out this recent video interview with Gloria Steinhem--she provides interesting insight into where feminism is today. Steinhem--who just turned 75!-- is an historic figure that our girls should know about--and they likely won't learn about her in school. In the interview, Steinhem claims, "Until men are equal inside the home, women can't be equal outside the home." She doesn't fault men, but faults our inadequate childcare systems and rigid workplaces. We should be conscious of how we divide childcare and work in the home, and the message it sends to our daughters.

New Moon: Movie with the same old sexist story?

2009-12-23T19:35:00.000-05:00

Tweeners beware: The Twilight Saga's New Moon is no feminist tale! Find out more in these articles from Ms. Magazine, as recommended by its associate editor, Jessica Stites:
"New Moon: Same Old Sexist Story"
"Talking Back to Twilight"

Poetry Jam: "Ken and Barbie 101"

2009-12-22T20:01:00.000-05:00

I love this video from http://www.adiosbarbie.com/, a site to promote healthy body image. Worth showing to your kids, as long as you don't mind the f-words.

"That's not how princesses act!"

2009-12-20T21:39:00.001-05:00

The top book pick for young feminists is The Paper Bag Princess, according to the owner of Pandora Books in Madison, NJ. This book reverses the princess-prince-dragon stereotype: The princess outsmarts the dragon and saves the prince, and in the end chooses not to marry him. The bookstore owner also claimed that over the 20+ years she's been selling the book, one customer returned it, claiming, "That's not how princesses act!"

Princess and the Frog: A Feminist Fairytale?

2009-12-18T19:11:00.004-05:00

That's what some bloggers think--read this review from feministing.com.

Beauty Pressure

2009-12-16T17:52:00.000-05:00

A friend from high school told me about Dove's "real beauty" campaign. This is a great demonstration of what our girls are facing.

Learning by Osmosis: Politics in the Morning

2009-12-15T18:13:00.004-05:00

O.K., before this sounds too highbrow, I have to admit that my daughter prefers to watch the Disney channel. But I've managed to get her educated about current events and politics merely by tuning into MSNBC's "Morning Joe" each morning when we're getting ready. It's never too early for your daughter to learn about world events, rather than "Hannah Montana."

Holiday Gift Idea: 100 Famous Women

2009-12-14T17:22:00.000-05:00

When my daughter was four, I found this book on the bargain rack at Barnes & Noble. It's been one of my favorite books--and hers, too. Now she knows more about women in history than she'll probably learn in all her years in school (sad to say). If you want to make sure your daughter knows about historic figures like Susan B. Anthony, Marie Curie, Indira Gandhi, Queen Elizabeth I, Rosa Parks and Gloria Steinem, this book is a great place to start. (You can also find it on Amazon.)

What are your favorite books for girls? Let us know!

Should feminism be taught in schools?

2009-12-13T16:10:00.000-05:00

"The only reason a modern teenager is likely burn her bra is to emulate underwear-dodging celebrities like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. Our daughters are in dire need of lessons in women's rights," says Joan Smith in The Times of London. Read Smith's article and find out how teaching feminism in schools can help counter the negative sexual influences our girls encounter each day.

Steps Ahead, Steps Back

2009-12-11T15:41:00.003-05:00

When I look at the environment my pre-teen daughter is growing up in, I see a clear dichotomy. On the one hand, girls today know they can do and be just about anything--they're educated, driven and accomplished. On the other hand, today's society is so beauty-obsessed that it sends our daughters the message that they're inadequate if they're not physically beautiful--or sexy.

In the 70s, women fought to be accepted for their brains and abilities, and not their bodies. It's frustrating to see some girls stepping back, rather than forward, on this front.

"Girls" on Google

2009-12-11T15:15:00.010-05:00

In setting up this blog, I searched on Google Images to look for some generic photos of girls. But when I searched "girls," can you guess what came up? Nineteen of the 20 images on the page were of young women in provocative poses and clothes--that's 95% of the images! (Yes, this image was one of them.) Check out the search for yourself. But when I searched "boys," the negative rate was just 19%.